Being a mom is awesome. I am blessed to be a mother to four wonderful boys. I get to be a SAHM (stay at home mom) and I even educate my boys at home. As I write this, beautiful images of my family pop into my head. My sweet family bonding over breakfast, kissing daddy goodbye as he leaves for work, doing a quick clean of the house while the boys quietly play.
One day last week, my 3 almost 4-year-old came home telling me “Lola” had called her a jerk when they were laying down to take a nap. Seriously? Seriously? She’s three! So many emotions were going through my mind but the first few were heartbreak, anger, and protection mode. I let Chloe explain it to me as best as her little brain could so I could help her make sense of what happen and I did my best to stay calm especially since it occurred at a place where she was supposed to be safe; her school!
Finding out that you are going to have a baby comes with so much joy. Especially if you and your spouse have been trying to get pregnant for some time.
There's also tons of preparing to be done. Between spreading the news of your new coming family member, setting up the baby's room and even stocking the closet full of clothes and diapers.
But with all of the wonderful things that come with having a baby, the one thing you never think about is...."what if it all ended at this very moment."
Hello, my name is Larken Lech. I'm a wife, entrepreneur, chronic line dancer, professional shower singer, and I'm a great mom.
Did you catch that last bit? It's strange to hear someone say great mom when referring to themselves, isn't it? I say this because, for a very long time, I thought I was the worst mom in the world. That I didn't deserve my child.
So, I've been debating with myself for a while about whether if I should, and if so, how to share this. It's not a secret, but it sorta feels like one... I had a miscarriage, twice actually, in 2014. The first was a fairly early miscarriage, but the second dragged out for over a month, and that resulted in a D&C. It also happened to be my third (which makes me officially a recurrent miscarrier), and it sucked. Actually, it still sucks from time to time when I think about it because of the grief that goes along with it.